Thursday, May 22, 2008

Giant Monster Breaks through Floor of Canton Prom - Captures 3

Canton, OH - May 22nd - City officials are investigating eyewitness reports that a large, aggressive monster broke through the floor of Central High School gymnasium, as the school's senior prom took place on Thursday night, capturing 3 attendees before disappearing into the night.

Police say that Andrea Maldavi, 18; Charlie Hennesey, 19; and Renee Orpthal, 18, all of Canton, have disappeared and there continues to be an ongoing citywide search for them. The school also said that 14 people were injured either directly by debris or in the subsequent panic.

Prom Queen Wendy Madison said that the monster was huge, about 10 feet tall. "It's muscles bulged everywhere. It was hairy and had a horn on its head, and my gosh, it was sweating all over."

"It roared like, a monster," said a man, only identified as Mike.

According to Dexter Mahoney, Principal of Central High School, there was about $2.3 million in damage done to the school. In addition to the demolishd gymanasium, there was a gaping hole in the basement below, several smashed walls, and a large monster-shaped hole in the fa├žade of the school. "And we don't have monster insurance," he added. All summer activities at the school have been cancelled.

The mayor of Canton said that he had never heard of a monster breaking through the floor of a prom, and that his staff could not find any records that described any such event, anywhere. He also extended his heartfelt prayers to the families of the students that have disappeared, wishing for their speedy and safe return.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

12 Injured by Poorly Placed Exit Polls

Gary, IN - May 8th - Up to 12 people may have been injured in Gary, Indiana on Tuesday, by walking into poorly placed exit polls in 2 different voting locations, according to a report in the Post-Tribune.

Mostly, the injuries were minor, say local authorities, though 3 people were sent to Methodist Hospital in Gary, one with a head injury. Doctors say the injuries were consistent with people walking into polls that were placed in bad locations.

The polls, made of a titanium/aluminum alloy, had been placed at the exit of Little Park Elementary School, and Central Transpository Notary-Benchmark Center. "It was odd that upon entering, the polls seemed to be just fine, but when leaving, I noticed several people avoiding potential injury with the polls," said Deena Dixon, a worker at Little Park Elementary.

Manufactured by a local Portage, IN steel company, the polls were installed by county-employed contractors in early March.

According to the American Society of Statistics, there is no record of how many people walk into exit polls during an election season, but the Society says that the slim possibility exists. Also, according to the Society's Indiana Primary Local Division, 68% were satisfied with the voting process, 14% were dissatisfied, 10% were unphased by it, and 8% didn't know how they felt.