Saturday, October 25, 2008

CNN Worried that Technical Glitch Could Freeze Touchscreen on Election Night

Atlanta - October 25 - On Friday, crews at CNN were working out details of a technical glitch in the touchscreen display used to detail Presidential election results, and hope to resolve the problem by election night.

CNN officials were worried that the interactive display could malfunction at any time. Power discrepancies between the interface and the internal electronics could cause things to appear and change that weren't intended to.

"This could cause voters to change their mind based on incorrect information," said a spokesperson.

Representatives wouldn't comment on whether they thought false results on the imaging system could sway viewers on the West Coast when results from the East coast were coming in.

"Or, the screen could just shut off entirely," said the lead CNN election night representative.

In the worst case scenario, according to CNN sources, the touch sense system could misinterpret motions which could cause entire states to move out of place, data to be jumbled, and everything just to be thrown into chaos.

CNN Election Night Rehearsals Underway

Atlanta - October 25 - According to the Non-Associated Press, CNN anchors and reporters began conducting rehearsals on Thursday for the upcoming Presidential election on November 4th.

CNN reporters and correspondents were working overtime, while off the air, in a mock up of the studio that will be used on election night. A portion of the rehearsal process has been dedicated to making sure the giant touch screen functions properly.

Camera crews were also assessing angles as well as sequences of angles, according to sources at the cable network.

Anonymous interns also said that Wolf Blitzer was heard practicing his lines in his dressing room, rest room, and even walking down the hallway.

Technicians were also making sure that correspondants' laptops would be synchronized so that during panel discussions, where wouldn't be any mishaps or misinformation delivered.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Gallop Poll Workers Injured by Spontaneous Stampede of Horses

Lewisville, KY - October 23 - Sources at Fox News say that a group of 14 individuals assembling a gallop poll for the upcoming presidential election in Lewisville, KY, were severely injured when a stampede of horses apparently charged from out of nowhere.

Sources say that 9 of them were released from the hospital the following morning, but the remaining 5 had sustained terrible head injuries and multiple broken bones. It was not known when they'd be released.

Mary Ackno and her GallopPoll Express staff were compiling data on their computers at the home office, according to a report by a Lewisville newspaper. They were out on the porch, where some printouts were left to dry due to an earlier incident, and to take a break while discussing some business matters. Suddenly, there was a rumbling sound.

With the pressures of completing the gallop poll in time, the pollsters considered just going back inside to finish their work.

Instead, say police, a stampede of horses trampled all of the staff at the same time, before disappearing as soon as they appeared. "Nobody had time to escape," said a local sheriff.

This is the first time a group of gallop pollsters was injured by a spontaneous stampede of horses, according to the American Society of Statistics.