Political Panic in Face of Superdelegate Retirement Wave

Washington, DC - April 23rd - Policymakers and politicians were in panic on Wednesday when news broke that many of the superdelegates that could decide the Democratic nominee for the 2008 Presidential race may opt for retirement late this Spring.

As many as 250 Superdelegates could choose to retire and not side with any candidate, according to the Non-Associated Press, and could do so as soon as June 1st.

This could leave either candidate drastically short of the 2,025 delegates needed to win the Democratic nomination, say analysts. There was no word from the democratic party on whether there would be an alteration in the rules should the retirement wave threaten the electoral process.

There are currently no laws, regulations, or punishment for Superdelegates who abandon their ballot in the face of a Presidential election.

American Airlines to Inspect Airplanes - Again

April 15th - Officials at American Airlines announced today that all of its aircraft that were grounded last week for wiring inspections will have to be re-inspected once again due to mistakes in the inspection process, according to the Non-Associated Press.

The groundings, which affected several hundred planes and resulted in the cancellation of over 3,000 flights, affected hundreds of thousands of passengers nationwide.

"The same inconviences that occurred last week will repeat once again," said an anonymous FAA representative.

According to the FAA, serious mistakes were made in the examination process of the MD-80 wiring systems. Problems already present may have been made worse and others may have been created. Full details are not available, but some experts have speculated that agents inspecting the airplanes used bubble gum to secure some of the wires, and beer bottles may have been left in some wire compartments.

"We understand that this is difficult for everyone travelling on American Airlines, and we will try to resolve the problem as quickly as possible," said the FAA in a statement released this morning.